ASKING POWERFUL QUESTIONS

By Kan Siew Ning

How often have we sat in meetings where we prefer to be somewhere else? Instead of generative conversations, discussions at meetings turn dysfunction either because a few strong-willed, opinionated and vocal characters go all out to win arguments and turn well-intended meetings into battlegrounds of advocacy.

Peter Senge’s The Fifth Discipline differentiates between “Advocacy and Inquiry”; in this and subsequent Senge books, being aware of mental models and suspending judgment are described as good practices. To create higher-quality results at meetings, we need to improve the quality of what we say, and the way we ask questions. Powerful questions can motivate and inspire.

Some meetings we attend are rife with questions that begin with “Why”, “Who”, and “When”. For example, “Why didn’t you follow my instructions?”, “Who approved this?”, “When was the last time …”. Such questions are second-rate questions that tend to point fingers and put others on the defensive; in the QBQ! book, John Miller refers to these as IQ – Incorrect Questions. I simply call them toxic questions.

Alternatively, if we want to have generative conversations at meetings, we should be asking more “What” and “How” questions like “What would you do differently if you could do it all over again?” and “How can we avoid this mistake in future?” Notice that this second set of questions boosts morale, creates positive energy in meetings, enhances collective learning, and moves issues and problems towards resolution.

For example, instead of saying, “That is a bad idea”, we could ask a powerful question like “What are some of the other options?” Instead of saying, “What is taking you so long to make a decision?”, you can say, “What missing information prevents you from making the decision?” It is not what we say, but how we say it. Although both questions can potentially mean the same thing, but by asking questions in the right way, we not only diffuse tension but also create the positive energy that makes possible generative conversations and good teams.

Some readers may read this and say that it is common sense but it really takes practice to develop the skills of asking powerful questions. If you have an interest to find out more, the following articles would be useful.

• The Power of the "Right" Question
• About Facilitation
• The Critical Mind is A Questioning Mind

For those who wish to progress even further in developing this skill, Crucial Conversations is recommended. You can boost morale and inspire teams by starting to ask powerful questions tomorrow in the office!

Written for iKMS Newsletter by: Kan Siew Ning